Today is my 41st birthday.
Today is the birthday of Authentic Self Coaching.
Wow, what a journey it has been to this day. A journey of many happy birthdays and very few unhappy ones.
See, Mom was AMAZING at birthdays. She made us feel tremendously special! She set the bar super high for others when it came to making us feel special on our bdays.
Jaime reads my blog, so I hope he won’t be offended by me sharing this. He was and is an amazing gift giver. Since our girls are young, he still helps them select my gifts. He always puts so much thought in to it.
However, the one thing I really wanted him to do when we were together was to tell me “Happy Birthday!” as soon as I woke up. For it to be the very first thing I heard in the morning. For me to know it was first and foremost on his mind. Never happened. Ironically he was the very first person to wish me Happy Birthday the first year after we separated.
But see this wasn’t about him. It was about me!
I was looking for validation, acknowledgement that I was special from the outside.
My journey, since our separation, was to discover I am special from the inside. I don’t need people to tell me how special I am. I don’t need others to celebrate.
I celebrate me!
So, on my 40th birthday, I threw myself an absolutely FABULOUS birthday party! I invited the women who are special in my life. We held it in the party room at Capital Grille. I chose the wines, the food. The girls got to each invite 1 friend. I celebrated me!! We laughed because it was kind of like a wedding. I ate one course with each table so I could have time with each of them. It was like that Sex and the City episode where Carrie marries herself. My friends still rave about the party!!
The past year, I retreated back in to myself a little bit. I now know in the land of the perfect universe and no accidents this was for a reason. It was so I could really come in, find the ground, so I could emerge and not only celebrate myself, but share myself with others.
An old friend from our community (thank you, Leah B.) posted this poem on my Facebook page last night:
Our Deepest Fear
By Marianne Williamson
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There is nothing enlightened about shrinking
So that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We were all meant to shine, as children do.
It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine,
We unconsciously give other people permission to do the same
As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.
It is on this day, March 12th, 2012, I celebrate the birth of Authentic Self Coaching!
It is on this day, March 12th, 2012, I offer myself to others so they can celebrate Self, too!!!