More and more lately the Universe is presenting me with people who are screaming to me for lessons in self love.
Learning to love myself again has been my path for decades. I would argue that the 8 years of clinical depression in my 20s was my body demanding I come within and rediscover who I truly am. People describe depression as something you battle. I, too, have described it as such in the past. But I have come to realize, it wasn’t something I needed to battle. It was something from which I needed to learn.
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.”
~ Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
My dear friend and mentor, Beth Prins Leas, recently posted the above quote to her Facebook page for the Total Life Care Center.
This quote really struck me to my core.
Not only from my own journey, but a few days later from bearing witness to my soul sister, Michelle’s journey. I have known Michelle’s story from almost the moment we met. Our souls connected instantaneously and she immediately went to her most vulnerable space and told me her story. Michelle’s story is hers to share, but it is truly a story of beauty arising from darkness. I took Lexi with me on Tuesday to hear Michelle (Auntie Em-as my girls call her) share her story and read aloud a poem she created. The beauty of these moments cannot be captured in pure words by me. But maybe you can witness some of it in this picture I took.
Now knowing Michelle like I do, I know her journey has been like mine, learning to LOVE herself, again!
There are so many ways we can love and nurture ourselves. From the tiniest moments of self care of a deep breath, a nutritious bite of food, a sip of clean water to the larger actions of personal growth retreats, “ME-cations,” making a radical change in one’s life that is an act of choosing you.
Along my own journey, one of the most decisive steps of action I took was going to Costa Rica the first time on the “Embrace the Magic” retreat with my coach, Joanne. On this retreat I truly grew to fully love myself and trust myself all over again. I had so many powerful visions and experiences on this retreat. There are many I continue to come back to and call upon. One of the most powerful visions I call upon a regular basis was me as a fountain.
From this vision I realized, the water has to return to me, to my basin in order to keep functioning. I truly mean that water has to RETURN TO ME!! I have to continue to feed, water, nourish myself in all senses of those words. Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. If I don’t do this, the fountain will literally dry up and break down, CEASE FUNCTIONING. Now, the beauty of this fountain you can hopefully see in the picture below, is there is PLENTY of water/me that will splash over, out, around. It is these SPLASHES I share with others (my children, my dog, my family, my friends, my clients and the greater communities I am a part of). There is MORE THAN ENOUGH in those splashes. In fact, because those splashes have come from my healthy, nourished basin, they are of very HIGH QUALITY. So, if I forget to allow that water to flow back in to my basin, there is less and less splash, less and less of me to share. And what is shared is MEAGER.
Now in my vision, my fountain is a luminous magenta, but I couldn’t capture a photo of that. But in our town, one of my favorite things to drive by is this fountain. I am sad when the water gets turned off in the fall, although rejoice when it’s converted in to a lit up Christmas tree. And I fully CELEBRATE when it is turned back on in the spring. I literally say “Hooray” to my girls the first time I see it.
If there is one lesson I will strive to impart to all I share my SPLASHES with it is this: